There's A New Sport Called RageBall And It's Time To Be All In
A couple of weeks ago I wrote a blog titled “Throwback: We Need Extreme Dodgeball Back In Our Lives“. Well not only did the world listen, but the world delivered in a huge way with RageBall. Give me 2 teams staffed with juiced up meatheads, throw a marathon of this shit on ESPN 8: The Ocho, and let me crush a case of Molson on my couch for an entire Saturday.
A few minor adjustments I’d make to the game:
- Don’t play it on sand. It’s too forgiving of a surface plus it slows everybody down. We’re looking for blood in a sport called “RageBall”. That doesn’t happen with a sand surface.
- If you do want a softer, more forgiving surface to play on then at least add trampolines into the mix.
- Make the games go up to 21. Once we get all the best athletes in the country to start playing this game, they’ll be able to get to 10 in like 90 seconds.
- You can hop the fence if you have the black ball in order to dunk it on the opposing net which results in the game being over. However, once you’re on the other team’s side then there are no rules. They can tackle you and beat the shit out of you.
I don’t really get the point of being able to bring everybody back once the last guy on your team gets hit but maybe that makes and I’m just too dumb to get it. Either way, those are 4 minor adjustments and I think we turned an already spectacular game into one of the best games around. And obviously there’s no drug testing involved. If I had to come up with a RageBall All-Star Team for Barstool… I think you obviously have to start with Caleb as your accuracy thrower. Big Cat could be one of the best defenders in RageBall history. You need a blockhead like Smitty who takes it a million times more seriously than anybody else. Kmarko makes for a good 2 or 3 (put me in the power rankings, plz). And then if we’re going 5v5… I guess the last man in the starting lineup has to be Weird Haircut Seth since we all remember what that cannon arm is capable of.
P.S. – I just wrote this entire blog without realizing that RageBall was an old Playstation game.